6 years ago...

It was 6 years ago (Dec. 20) that I was getting married! Blake and I celebrated our anniversary this weekend by staying at the Gaylord Texan, which is a beautiful hotel. We ate dinner at a steakhouse in the hotel and walked around to look at the lights. We were going to go to the ice show, but it was sold out, and we were too lazy to get up early this morning and go....Since we didn't have to get up early with Cade, we were definitely not getting up early for ice ;-)

We had such a great time, though, and in the hustle and bustle of the season and surviving toddlerhood and pregnancy, it was nice to slow down and just enjoy each other. I love being able to hang out with my hubby, and it is always great to think back to our wedding day. There are so many things I'll never forget about that day. I didn't even stop to think about how young I was to get married...We were in love, and that's all that mattered. Now, 6 years later, we are more in love than ever, we have a beautiful son, and a precious daughter on the way. We have been so blessed by God, and we pray for many more wonderful years together.

I love you, Blake!

Halfway there!

My plan was to stay more up to date with my blog during this pregnancy, but that seems nearly impossible with a 14 month old running around. Here's the latest....

I am 21 weeks along, so I've crossed the halfway mark. It is going by so quickly. I think when January hits, it will just go faster. I am loving Christmastime and buying gifts for Cade and now Cade's little SISTER

That's right...Avie Ryn will be here at the end of April. We found out at 19 weeks, and the doctor was 99% sure. We are so excited to be having a little girl, and she already has Daddy wrapped around her finger.

We found out that she is hanging out behind the placenta, which explains my difficulty in feeling her move, but as of last week she has started doing somersaults. Blake even felt her move the other day. It was great! I am posting the last two baby bump pictures, and I am going to try and stay more up to date since it will be flying by. Our next appointment is December 31st so prayer for a happy, healthy baby and mama!

18 weeks 20 weeks

Baby #2 due to arrive at the end of April!

We loved Cade so much, we decided to have another one! Blake and I are due April 29, 2010. We found out toward the beginning of September and have been excited ever since. I am going to try to keep up with the blog to keep track of the pregnancy. We will find out December 3rd if it is a boy or girl, so until then, we'll keep our fingers crossed for a cooperative baby.

Here are some bump pictures. I started showing a lot sooner with this baby. I guess my body just remembered what to do.

14 weeks

16 weeks

One Year Old!!!!

The day I thought I would dread has come and gone. My baby boy has turned 1!!!!

It is so hard for me to believe that it has already been one year since Cade was born. He is such a joy in our lives, and we can barely remember our lives without him. To commemorate his 12th month of existence, I'm listing my 12 favorite things about him.

1. His smile/laugh

2. When he cuddles with us on Saturday mornings

3. When we say "night, night" he walks to his room and waits for us to put him in his crib

4. His attempt at running (It's so cute)

5. His hugs for everyone, including dogs

6. His curiosity

7. How quickly he is learning

8. When he points to his "seatbelt" to show us how to undo it

9. When I look in the mirror and he has his blankie on his head

10. When he starts babbling as if he has so much to say

11. When he uses his sign language or words

12. He is OUR'S!

10 and 11 months

I'm sure by now most of you were thinking that my family has been frozen in time since July, but that is unfortunately not true. I have found that once I get behind in blogging, it is so hard to sit down and catch up. Cade is napping right now, so I'm going to try to get in some new stuff.

As you might guess from the title, we have celebrated Cade's 10th and 11th month already. (We have actually celebrated 12, but I'll blog separately about it). So much has been going on with Cade since the last blog.

#1 Cade is WALKING. He actually started walking between the 10th and 11th month at his friend Micah's bday party. He saw this little girl he really liked, and she was already walking, so I guess he figured if he wanted a chance with her, he had to start walking as well.

#2 Cade is beginning to say words and sign more. He can sign "more" and "yes." His favorite words are go, down, no, and dog. He says "Mama" and "Dada" too.

I cannot believe how much he has grown in such a short amount of time. I never imagined how fast it would go. Here are some pics from month 10 and 11.

First time to the zoo!

Yesterday Cade and I made our first trip to the zoo together with our friends, Marlo, Sydney, and Micah. It was so much fun (despite the heat)! We went to the Tyler Zoo because it's cheaper, smaller, and most of the exhibits are closer. I loved watching the kids enjoy all the animals. Cade was, of course, only fascinated by the animals that came right of to the glass, but I loved watching him study those. His friend, Micah, was a great commentator for the trip. It was so cute!

Cade has also learned how to "dance" and he smiles when we say "Cheese!" I am so impressed with my big boy. I just love his personality. He is so adorable and Blake and I remember daily that he is our blessing from God.

Back from Branson!

Well, we are back from Branson! Blake and I went with my parents and brother and sister-in-law (We decided Cade wasn't ready for all of the activities, yet). It was so much fun. I know that Blake really wasn't sure about the whole trip because Branson is an "older person's" town (no offense). We both really enjoyed it, though. I'm hoping that when Cade is older, we can take him there, too. This time he stayed with his Granna and Papa John, who I'm sure spoiled him like crazy ;-) but that's what grandparents are for.

We left on our trip Sunday and came back Thursday. It was an eventful week. We filled every minute almost. As my brother said, "I'll sleep when I'm dead." LOL an interesting perspective I must say...

Monday we went to Silver Dollar City, which I loved. It was ten times better than 6 flags. There are not as many "big" rides, but the entire park was covered with trees or some type of shade. We stayed from 10 AM until 7 PM (closing), and we didn't even notice that it had been that long. I definitely recommend it.

Tuesday we went to see the musical "Noah." The acting and singing were a bit cheesy, but the set design was AMAZING! After intermission, we were "inside" the ark.

Wednesday was a full day of fishing at 6 AM (I had the biggest catch-6 or 7 lb. catfish) and the Branson Belle Showboat at 8 PM with shopping in between. The Branson Belle is definitely another recommendation. The food was okay, but the show was awesome.

This was our first big vacation in about 3 years, so it felt great to go! We are so blessed to be able to go and do.

(pics to come)

New thought for blog and lately...

I've been trying to blog more often, but I always feel like I have to have some pictures to go along with it. I unfortunately can't keep up with pictures and blogging, so I'm going to just blog and add pictures when I can.

Today Cade and I hung out watching the Disney channel most of the day. He is so cute, but he is into everything right now. I'm definitely getting a workout keeping up with him. We have his playroom pretty much set up now, so I'm looking forward to using that more often. Our friend Jessica came over and hung out. She helped clean for cg too :-) How sweet! I was also able to scrapbook today while Cade took a 2 and a half hour nap!!! Wow! That's not normal for him.

What we've been doing lately...

Last week Blake went to youth camp, so Cade and I went to Mt. Pleasant with Marlo Wade and the kids. It was a nice, relaxing week, and Cade had great friends to play with. Then, on Friday, my mom and I picked up Blake from the church right after they got back from youth camp and left for our family reunion in Lawton, OK. It's my mom's dad's side of the family, and I always enjoy going. This was the first year that Blake has gone since we've been married, which was great!! Everyone also met Cade for the first time. BTW he is 8 months old now and crawling with two teeth!!!! We came back late Saturday night and early Sunday morning. The fun didn't stop there, though. The Wade's air conditioner went out! (Way too hot for that right now) Their family stayed with us Sunday night. It was like a giant slumber party. The kids definitely enjoyed it and stayed up till 11PM. Our week has finally slowed down, but we will leave for Branson next week, so we'll be packing again.

(Will post pics of everything later)

Sorry this is so long. I'll try to blog almost daily from now on to space it out :)

My 1st Mother's Day and Cade is 7 months!!

(Cade's painting)

Happy Mother's Day!!! This year was my first official Mother's Day with Cade. Last year, he was on the inside ;-) That seems like a lifetime ago. Now my baby is 7 months old. I have loved being Cade's mommy. Time has flown by, and Cade is doing more everyday. Right now he is trying to crawl. He can get onto his hands and knees, but usually ends up doing a pushup or scooting across the floor.

Blake and I could not have asked for a happier baby. Cade is constantly smiling and laughing. Don't get me wrong---he has his moments, but his overall spirit is beautiful. I am so proud to be his mother on this Mother's Day.

What's been going on lately?

It's been awhile since I have blogged. Cade has been keeping us busy. The biggest thing that happened lately: Car wreck :-( Last Saturday when the rain was pouring down, we hydroplaned and lost control. Our Envoy spun across I-30 and hit the left guardrail twice, which bounced us back across 30 to the right shoulder facing the wrong direction. Luckily, Cade wasn't with us. We had just left Malvern, Arkansas, and for some reason, I suggested he spend the night with Blake's parents in Arkansas and come back Sunday.

I worried about Cade the entire hour before the wreck. Should I have left him so far away? Was he going to be okay? Was Blake's mom going to have enough energy to keep up with him? As soon as we hit the guardrail, I was so grateful that he wasn't with us. I counted our blessings the rest of the night that he hadn't been with us. God is so great at giving us those moments.

When it was all said and done, the Envoy was totaled, and we have a Nissan Altima!

Easter 2009

Happy Easter!!! This blog is a little late, but these days it has not been easy to keep up with the blog and the family. Our first family Easter was great. Cade looked adorable, and our Easter service at cLife was great! We are looking forward to watching Cade hunt Easter eggs next year :) What an awesome time of year to celebrate Christ's resurrection!

This year I was able to talk with my 6th graders at school about Good Friday, which was awesome. They had a lot of questions about what Good Friday was for, and we were able to talk about it. They were so cute asking questions like: "Why is it called 'good' Friday?" They thought it should have been called Black Friday. It's all perspective I guess.

The best part is: Christ is risen!!! And that gives us a hope for tomorow.

6 months old: A Bittersweet Time

There is a beautiful bluebonnet patch in Forney by the flags. This is Cade Leland on his 6 month birthday. It is such a bittersweet time for me. I love that Cade is learning so many new things, but I can't believe that my baby is half a year old. Don't get me wrong. I don't miss those newborn nights, but I do miss that newborn look and those tiny baby clothes. My sweet boy, though, is sitting up now and he wants to badly to start crawling and even walking. We went to the doctor this morning and Cade weighs a whopping 19 lbs. and he is almost 28 inches long. He also got his shots, so these bluebonnet shots are a little deceiving. He actually wasn't too thrilled about taking these pictures at this point in the day. The shots had kicked in, and he was pretty fussy. At least he was a good sport for a few of the pics. CADE: Daddy and Mommy love you so much! We can't believe how quickly you are growing, and you remind us daily of God's love and blessings. Happy birthday!

Marriage retreat-Cade's first overnight stay

This past weekend Blake and I were able to go to our church's first marriage retreat. It was a great time for us to get away and just refresh. We were reminded of ways to renew our relationship, and we're actually attempting to follow through with some of the things we learned.

To go on the retreat, though, we had to leave Cade with Blake's parents overnight :( It was our first time to be without him that long, and it was, of course, much harder for me than for Blake. Luckily, my mother-in-law was nice enough to send us pictures during the weekend. The first picture she sent Friday night was Cade taking a bath in the sink. It was so cute, but it almost made me cry. He did such a great job, and we knew he would. He has his Daddy's social personality. We can't believe how old he is getting. He is sitting up now, and he gives such wonderful hugs and kisses. Blake and I feel so blessed to have him, and he adds so much to our marriage.

Blah...Internet woes

I was just reading a blog entitled "Bad Blogger," but I think I definitely win that award. It has been almost one month since I've blogged. Our home internet has been having issues (I am currently on my parents' internet). AT & T said that somehow our account was erased? Not sure on that one, but the guy that Blake talked to said he'd only seen it about 3 times in his 10 years there. Someone from AT & T came to fix it, but for some reason it still doesn't work. I'm not even sure where to start on what I've missed.

On March 10th, Cade turned 5 months!!! I think that's the main thing. I'll try to fill in the gaps as I go through pictures. Until then, here is one of Cade's 5 month pics

Fireproof weekend

Our family has had a pretty eventful weekend. On Friday, my mother-in-law Dana had a mastectomy. Blake and Cade were able to go up to the hospital to sit and wait during the surgery. We only found out two weeks ago about her breast cancer. It was a shock to us all. It really makes us re-evaluate things. Blake and I talked about how it's hard to think about your parents being mortal. We know in our head that they are getting older, but we never realize it until something like this happens. Dana is doing well, and she is in great spirits. We visited her today, and she should be going home tomorrow. I was impressed to see her sitting up with her makeup done when we walked in this afternoon. With the short span between the diagnosis and surgery, we all haven't had much time to dwell on the situation, which is an answer to prayers for all of us. We are now praying that she won't need chemo or radiation. Thank you all who have been praying for her and our family.

Friday night Blake and I were able to go see Fireproof (http://www.fireproofmymarriage.com/) at the church. It was almost like a real date night! Those are few and far between these days. It was a great movie once we got past the cheesy acting. Blake and I had a chance to talk last night and on our way to the hospital today, which we haven't made time for lately. The movie was a great reminder of living in a godly marriage. We often get too busy to notice that anything might be wrong. We go through the motions, and after a month, two months, or even a year, we realize that we are more roommates than husband and wife. Blake and I are really looking forward to cLife's marriage retreat (March 27-28th) as well. You can start signing up Sunday...just so you know ;-)

Overall the weekend has been a great one. Blake and I are looking forward to relaxing as a family tomorrow night.

1st taste of cereal

Cade had his first taste of cereal today. It was quite comical to watch him try to eat off of a spoon. He didn't last very long before he wanted his bottle instead, but it was a start. We can't believe how fast he is growing, which was confirmed by his Dr.'s visit on Friday.

He weighed 17 lbs. 5 ozs. (93%) and was 26.5 inches long (95%). Dr. Sonnen said he looked great, and his lungs sounded better than on Tuesday. He also gave us the okay to try some cereal and foods with Cade. I wasn't sure if he was going to, though. First he had to give us his speech about the lack of nutritional value in baby food and the commercialization of it being forced upon the last few generations. Blake and I just smiled and nodded. I'm all for listening to the doctor's advice, and I am glad to know that we don't have to rush into feeding him, but I am realistic. Cade is a big boy and cereal seems to be more filling. If not, luckily, no harm no foul.

Cade also got his next set of immunizations. Blake thought he would have to leave the room after his last traumatic experience, but Cade actually did pretty well. After his band-aids were put on, I gave him his "bink" (pacifier) and held him, and he seemed to calm down considerably. Blake wanted me to cry, though ;-)

Cade is growing into such a little man, and I'm thankful for him everyday!

RSV :-(

So, I took Cade to the doctor on Tuesday, and we found out he has RSV. The doctor said it was pretty normal for babies, and he gave us an inhaler to help with his breathing. It is so nice to have something that finally helps him. He is still pretty congested, and he has successfully given me a cold, but he is so cute, so it doesn't matter :-)

Tomorrow we go to Cade's 4 month well baby check-up! I will try to update and add pictures soon. Our internet at our house has been down :(

4th month: Jan. 10-Feb. 10

(watching the Super Bowl with Daddy)

January seemed like a slow month. Blake and I so enjoyed it, though! Most of the time we feel like time is flying by and Cade is growing so quickly, but we were glad to have some time to just enjoy our son.

Cade is such a great baby! Poppi says we are going to be tricked into having another one. That's because I was born first and then they had my colicky brother ;-) It's true, though. We are thanking God daily for such a beautiful blessing, and we are looking forward to watching him grow.

This has been a month of sickness as most of you probably know. Cade has been pretty congested, so we have been trying to use a humidifier, but it is not really helping. It is so sad to not be able to help him. He is too young for any "normal" cold medication, so there's not much we can do. We're going to Dr. Sonnen tomorrow, though, so I hope we can accomplish something more.
(Go Steelers! NoT ;)
Cade will be 4 months tomorrow!!!

(Happy B-day to me!)

3rd month: Dec. 10-Jan. 10

Mid-December through mid-January was busy, busy, busy. It all started December 20th when Cade rolled from his front to his back! This was also Mommy and Daddy's 5th wedding anniversary! We feel so blessed to have a beautiful boy this year. Then Christmas started. We went to the Christmas Eve service at cLife, which was great! Then we went to Granna and Papa John's to celebrate. We all spent the night there and celebrated Cade's first Christmas morning :-) Cade made it about halfway through the morning before he was ready to take a nap. Granna and Papa John gave him a bouncer and lots of cute clothes.

That same afternoon we went to Nonni and Poppi's to celebrate Christmas with Great Grandaddy and Granma. Cade opened a lot more clothes, which were much needed.

December 28th we went to Houston for Cade's first professional football game. He watched Uncle Caleb on the Chicago Bear's sideline. Actually he mostly slept, but he looked so cute doing it ;-) Cade was excited to see his Uncle and all of his other family. Go Bears!!

Unfortunately the Bears lost, but that meant we were able to celebrate Christmas with Uncle Caleb, Aunt Andrea, and Nonni's side of the family. All this before January 1st!

January 10th was my 3 month birthday!

2nd month: Nov. 10-Dec. 10

This was an eventful time for us all. Cade celebrated his first Thanksgiving, and made his first trip to Arkansas and Louisiana. We went to Granna and Papa John's for Thanksgiving, and then we went to Nonni and Poppi's for Thanksgiving evening. Saturday was our trip to Arkansas and Louisiana. It was a long day, but we were able to meet lots of new people. Cade says "hello" to all of his relatives there!

Cade also turned 2 months December 10th, so he went to his 2 month check up at the doctor for his immunizations. He went with Daddy and Nonni, though because Mommy had just gone back to work after 8 weeks at home. Cade weighed 13 lbs. 10 ozs. and measured 24.75 inches. He was in the 95th percentile in both height and weight so Dr. Sonnen said he was doing great!

1st month: Oct 10-Nov 10

Cade had a very busy first month. We went home from the hospital on Sunday afternoon, and Cade spent his first night at home with us and some help from Nonni. At 3 weeks Cade celebrated his 1st Halloween in a homemade costume from his Great Gran. He was a football, of course.

Home from the hospital (Oct. 12)

First Halloween

OCTOBER 10, 2008: Cade Leland Arrives!

On Thursday, October 9th Blake and I went to my weekly doctor's appointment, and we found out that my blood pressure had elevated higher than it should be. There were also some proteins present in my lab work. These were both signs of the onset of toxemia. My doctor told me to just take it easy and keep an eye on my blood pressure over the weekend and she would check me again Monday. Of course, news like that would keep anybody's blood pressure elevated :-) Blake and I went to our friend's, the Krauska's, that night for dinner (which was delicious: steak and baked potato). Autumn had a blood pressure machine at home, so I was able to borrow it to take my blood pressure throughout the night. I went walking that evening with my dad to try to induce labor, and I took my blood pressure when I finished to see how activity would affect me, since I was supposed to go to work the next day. My blood pressure was higher than before. We tried it several different ways to make sure that it wasn't just the walking that provoked the high blood pressure. After too many poor readings, we called the doctor and scheduled an appointment for 9 AM the next morning.



Friday, October 10th: Blake and I packed up the car that morning (just in case) and headed to the doctor's office. As soon as we arrived, Minnie (our doctor's assistant) took my blood pressure, which was still high, and my doctor sent us over to Baylor to be induced, a very surreal moment. We checked in at 10 AM and went to our room. Since it was a long day, I'll just give you the quick synopsis.



11AM: Pitocin started

5PM: 4 cm dilated, broke water

6 PM: Epidural (was begging for it at this point)

10 PM-11 PM: 10 cm dilated and ready to go!
At 11:40 PM, Cade Leland Clickner entered this world weighing 8 lbs. 9 ozs. and measuring 20.75 inches.







It was a wonderful and worshipful experience for me and everyone in the room (Blake, Marlo, Dr. Lawson and a couple of nurses). All the pain and hunger from the day was immediately erased when they placed Cade on my chest. It was such a strange feeling to know that this was our son. Blake was able to see Cade's first breath, which proved God's power even more. We are so truly happy to have Cade in our lives, and we give all of the glory to God for him.

Pregnancy: January 2008-October 2008

(28 weeks pregnant)



I was very fortunate during my pregnancy. I had no morning sickness :-) Other than the back pain, I really enjoyed pregnancy. At the beginning, I had cravings for mexican food, especially tacos. Then again, you might think I'm pregnant everyday since I love mexican food anyway. At the end of the pregnancy, I craved sweets. My mom would make brownies, and I felt like eating the entire pan. Every night Blake and I would read from a book we bought. It told us daily what was happening with the baby. It was great to find out what was going on each day. We found out in May (between 18 and 19 weeks) that we were having a boy. Blake and I had only decided on the name Cade Leland the day before the sonogram. I felt like we needed to have the name when we went in to find out if it was a boy or a girl. Of course we began shopping for him immediately. We were so excited! I made it through a Texas summer for my 5th to 7th month, which isn't saying much. It didn't really affect me. Texas heat is Texas heat, whether you're pregnant or not, it's still not comfortable.

Blake did a lot of traveling over the summer with all of his camps and the NY mission trip. I really wanted to go to NY with everyone, but we thought at 28 weeks pregnant it wouldn't be the best idea for me to do all of that walking.

I was able to make it to 39 weeks pregnant before we induced due to high blood pressure and the possibility of toxemia.

I truly believe that because God made us wait for this baby, we appreciated every moment that much more. I never wanted to complain about pregnancy because I had been asking for it for so long. Blake and I viewed it solely as a blessing despite any of the negatives that came along with it. It is my prayer that everyone would view pregnancy as a gift no matter what the circumstances. There are people everywhere who struggle for days, months, and years to get pregnant and unfortunately, some are never able to conceive. Remember these people when you, or someone you know, are going through the aches and pains of pregnancy. God has blessed you (or them) more than you will ever know, and I thank God everyday for the pain that I still feel everytime I look at my son.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." ~James 1:17

Backtracking: A prayer for contentment

Continued from previous post...

After we visited the doctor in January of 2007, we decided to wait to move forward until we spent some more time in prayer. We wanted to feel comfortable with our decision. In November of that same year we went back to the doctor to revisit our options. Our doctor put me on Clomid (a fertility medication) and Metformin (which is a diabetic drug but would help me ovulate). We also did an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination). Unfortunately, it didn't take. After about 2 1/2 years of disappointment, we thought this wouldn't be any different. For me (Kristin), it was devastating. I was so confident that it would work, and when it didn't, I was hesistant to keep moving forward. With Blake's encouragement and more prayer, we decided to try again. My doctor changed some of my medications, and we tried again in December. We received the same results. I was really beginning to think that this wasn't going to work, and we were just wasting money. Blake and I talked about other options like adoption or in vitro fertilization (IVF). We argued and prayed for days. We seemed to be at a stalemate wanting to go different ways.

At this point, I was angry with God. It felt unfair that so many other people could get pregnant and I couldn't. I wondered if it was something Blake or I did. I was a "good kid" growing up, I deserved this. I believed in God, I followed Him, and yet He didn't feel like I did. That's how I felt at least, which should have told me I needed to grow up a little more before I was ready to have a kid. God began to break me down from the inside out. My heart had gradually become hardened toward Him, and He was chiseling away at it.

In early January 2008, I finally began to give into Him. My prayer for contentment was stronger than ever. Blake and I were still arguing, but it was definitely not as heated. We even decided to go away together for a few days in February to just reassess and relax.

In mid-January, we decided to try the procedure one last time. We didn't think we could take the disappointment anymore than that. My doctor added some more medications for me to try before and after the procedure, but I did NOT hold my breath for it to work. I just prayed to be okay despite the outcome.

On February 10, 2008, after some STRONG persuasion from Blake, I took a pregnancy test. I assumed I would see only one line on the test like so many times before, but this time there were TWO! I just stared at the test in disbelief. It was a surreal moment for me. I couldn't even speak. I carried the test into the other room to show Blake, and I just held it out for him to see. He immediately began crying and hugged me. All the while I'm still looking at the test making sure the two lines are still there.

It came at the perfect time. God's time. I had already started renewing my relationship with Him , and this news helped to push me forward. He had revealed His grace and glory to me in a way I did not expect.

Blake and I kept our plans in February to go away for a few days, but instead of needing to reassess and relax, we were able to celebrate :-)