1st month: Oct 10-Nov 10

Cade had a very busy first month. We went home from the hospital on Sunday afternoon, and Cade spent his first night at home with us and some help from Nonni. At 3 weeks Cade celebrated his 1st Halloween in a homemade costume from his Great Gran. He was a football, of course.

Home from the hospital (Oct. 12)

First Halloween

OCTOBER 10, 2008: Cade Leland Arrives!

On Thursday, October 9th Blake and I went to my weekly doctor's appointment, and we found out that my blood pressure had elevated higher than it should be. There were also some proteins present in my lab work. These were both signs of the onset of toxemia. My doctor told me to just take it easy and keep an eye on my blood pressure over the weekend and she would check me again Monday. Of course, news like that would keep anybody's blood pressure elevated :-) Blake and I went to our friend's, the Krauska's, that night for dinner (which was delicious: steak and baked potato). Autumn had a blood pressure machine at home, so I was able to borrow it to take my blood pressure throughout the night. I went walking that evening with my dad to try to induce labor, and I took my blood pressure when I finished to see how activity would affect me, since I was supposed to go to work the next day. My blood pressure was higher than before. We tried it several different ways to make sure that it wasn't just the walking that provoked the high blood pressure. After too many poor readings, we called the doctor and scheduled an appointment for 9 AM the next morning.



Friday, October 10th: Blake and I packed up the car that morning (just in case) and headed to the doctor's office. As soon as we arrived, Minnie (our doctor's assistant) took my blood pressure, which was still high, and my doctor sent us over to Baylor to be induced, a very surreal moment. We checked in at 10 AM and went to our room. Since it was a long day, I'll just give you the quick synopsis.



11AM: Pitocin started

5PM: 4 cm dilated, broke water

6 PM: Epidural (was begging for it at this point)

10 PM-11 PM: 10 cm dilated and ready to go!
At 11:40 PM, Cade Leland Clickner entered this world weighing 8 lbs. 9 ozs. and measuring 20.75 inches.







It was a wonderful and worshipful experience for me and everyone in the room (Blake, Marlo, Dr. Lawson and a couple of nurses). All the pain and hunger from the day was immediately erased when they placed Cade on my chest. It was such a strange feeling to know that this was our son. Blake was able to see Cade's first breath, which proved God's power even more. We are so truly happy to have Cade in our lives, and we give all of the glory to God for him.

Pregnancy: January 2008-October 2008

(28 weeks pregnant)



I was very fortunate during my pregnancy. I had no morning sickness :-) Other than the back pain, I really enjoyed pregnancy. At the beginning, I had cravings for mexican food, especially tacos. Then again, you might think I'm pregnant everyday since I love mexican food anyway. At the end of the pregnancy, I craved sweets. My mom would make brownies, and I felt like eating the entire pan. Every night Blake and I would read from a book we bought. It told us daily what was happening with the baby. It was great to find out what was going on each day. We found out in May (between 18 and 19 weeks) that we were having a boy. Blake and I had only decided on the name Cade Leland the day before the sonogram. I felt like we needed to have the name when we went in to find out if it was a boy or a girl. Of course we began shopping for him immediately. We were so excited! I made it through a Texas summer for my 5th to 7th month, which isn't saying much. It didn't really affect me. Texas heat is Texas heat, whether you're pregnant or not, it's still not comfortable.

Blake did a lot of traveling over the summer with all of his camps and the NY mission trip. I really wanted to go to NY with everyone, but we thought at 28 weeks pregnant it wouldn't be the best idea for me to do all of that walking.

I was able to make it to 39 weeks pregnant before we induced due to high blood pressure and the possibility of toxemia.

I truly believe that because God made us wait for this baby, we appreciated every moment that much more. I never wanted to complain about pregnancy because I had been asking for it for so long. Blake and I viewed it solely as a blessing despite any of the negatives that came along with it. It is my prayer that everyone would view pregnancy as a gift no matter what the circumstances. There are people everywhere who struggle for days, months, and years to get pregnant and unfortunately, some are never able to conceive. Remember these people when you, or someone you know, are going through the aches and pains of pregnancy. God has blessed you (or them) more than you will ever know, and I thank God everyday for the pain that I still feel everytime I look at my son.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above..." ~James 1:17

Backtracking: A prayer for contentment

Continued from previous post...

After we visited the doctor in January of 2007, we decided to wait to move forward until we spent some more time in prayer. We wanted to feel comfortable with our decision. In November of that same year we went back to the doctor to revisit our options. Our doctor put me on Clomid (a fertility medication) and Metformin (which is a diabetic drug but would help me ovulate). We also did an IUI (Intrauterine Insemination). Unfortunately, it didn't take. After about 2 1/2 years of disappointment, we thought this wouldn't be any different. For me (Kristin), it was devastating. I was so confident that it would work, and when it didn't, I was hesistant to keep moving forward. With Blake's encouragement and more prayer, we decided to try again. My doctor changed some of my medications, and we tried again in December. We received the same results. I was really beginning to think that this wasn't going to work, and we were just wasting money. Blake and I talked about other options like adoption or in vitro fertilization (IVF). We argued and prayed for days. We seemed to be at a stalemate wanting to go different ways.

At this point, I was angry with God. It felt unfair that so many other people could get pregnant and I couldn't. I wondered if it was something Blake or I did. I was a "good kid" growing up, I deserved this. I believed in God, I followed Him, and yet He didn't feel like I did. That's how I felt at least, which should have told me I needed to grow up a little more before I was ready to have a kid. God began to break me down from the inside out. My heart had gradually become hardened toward Him, and He was chiseling away at it.

In early January 2008, I finally began to give into Him. My prayer for contentment was stronger than ever. Blake and I were still arguing, but it was definitely not as heated. We even decided to go away together for a few days in February to just reassess and relax.

In mid-January, we decided to try the procedure one last time. We didn't think we could take the disappointment anymore than that. My doctor added some more medications for me to try before and after the procedure, but I did NOT hold my breath for it to work. I just prayed to be okay despite the outcome.

On February 10, 2008, after some STRONG persuasion from Blake, I took a pregnancy test. I assumed I would see only one line on the test like so many times before, but this time there were TWO! I just stared at the test in disbelief. It was a surreal moment for me. I couldn't even speak. I carried the test into the other room to show Blake, and I just held it out for him to see. He immediately began crying and hugged me. All the while I'm still looking at the test making sure the two lines are still there.

It came at the perfect time. God's time. I had already started renewing my relationship with Him , and this news helped to push me forward. He had revealed His grace and glory to me in a way I did not expect.

Blake and I kept our plans in February to go away for a few days, but instead of needing to reassess and relax, we were able to celebrate :-)